“Hold the pickles hold the lettuce….” If you had a heartbeat in the 70’s you know what comes next (and if not, there’s this https://youtu.be/pprTvtHnnTo)

Cutting to the chase of the Burger King jingle, special orders don’t upset us in this house. Granted, as a mother of bottomless pit boys, I love it when people eat everything with glee; but,  I also enjoy the challenge of the hunt when finding recipes to accommodate the “specials” — the gluten frees, the vegetarians, the paleos, the nut-frees, the dairy-frees, the garlic and cilantro haters, the Vegans and any “special combo” of the above. 

Regularly catering to a Paleo, Gluten-free, Vegan “special combo” might put me over the edge. But then again, I’d just make a LOT of these crackers. Everyone Crackers are the reverse concept of Everything seasoning, in that they have few main ingredients and tons of flavor options so they can accommodate everyone. Even the sesame averse have an easy workaround (see recipe notes at the end). 

These goes out to Jules, who also brought us the triple spicy margarita. For that alone she is worth any amount of extra effort. Jules is a “special combo” of gluten free and nut free. That last part is especially tough for someone like me who tries to slip nuts into everything. It’s also difficult because so many gluten free baked goods depend on the heft and flavor of nut flour. 

Say hello to cassava flour, the longtime secret weapon of the gluten-averse paleo crowd. Even for people with no dietary restrictions, these crackers that come straight from the Bojon Gourmet (kinda my food hero) are solid gold. They make a fine addition to any app spread and a vehicle for anything (well hello again, chile crisp!)

Full disclosure, making crackers is a bit of a pain. Within the cracker-making realm, however, these are as easy as it gets: One bowl, few ingredients and no chopping, pre-bake scoring, flipping, or resting time on the counter. The only real skill involved is getting them to a uniform thickness, and if you’ve done any time with Play-doh you’ve got this.  

You will need parchment paper and ideally two baking sheets without rims. Other than that, no special equipment. The ingredients, once you have them, last a good long time so you’ll be set for several batches.

Besides being substantial and delicious, these crackers allow for plenty of room to riff with seasonings in the mix or on top. I left the recipe exactly as written with my notes in italics. Stay tuned for another partner recipe from Bojon Gourmet–this one a crazy-good Vegan “paté”  that has only one wacky ingredient and stands on its own with meat eaters. It does have nuts so, sorry Jules…you’ll have to double down on the crackers!

Crackers, pre-breakup

…and after the bust

Everyone Crackers

From Alanna Taylor-Tobin AKA the Bojon Gourmet
Prep Time: 30 minutes minutes
Cook Time: 50 minutes minutes
Total: 1 hour hour 20 minutes minutes
Servings: 40ish crackers

Ingredients

• 1 cup (160 g) cassava flour*
• ½ cup (85 g) flax seeds (ground flax seeds will also work in a pinch)
• ½ cup (70 g) sesame seeds
• ½ cup (60 g) sunflower seeds
• ½ teaspoon fine sea salt
• 1 cup + 2 tablespoons (265 ml) boiling water*
• ¼ cup (55 g) olive oil, plus 2 tablespoons for brushing (I often forget to add the oil until after everything is mixed. It still works out, but aim higher than me here and add the oil with the water)
• flaky salt, for sprinkling

Method

• Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and preheat to 300ºF.
• Stir together the flour, seeds, and salt in a large bowl.
• Add the olive oil and water, stir to combine. Let sit 10 minutes, then knead with your hands in the bowl into a smooth ball. Divide in two.
• Roll one piece of dough between two pieces of parchment paper into a large, thin sheet that’s about the size of a baking sheet. If the dough cracks or tears, just squish it back together. You can trim away the wonky edges, stick them into the corners, and continue rolling to make a rectangle. Repeat with the other piece of dough.
• Brush the dough all over with olive oil and sprinkle with flaky salt.
• Bake the crackers until light golden, about 40-50 minutes (check at 15 minutes if using a different flour as some bake much faster than others).
• Let the crackers cool, then break them into 2 to 3-inch pieces. If the crackers aren’t crisp enough after cooling, just return them to the oven for another 10 minutes or so.
• Store the crackers airtight for up to a week or two… if you can make them last that long!

Notes and substitution suggestions:

For a non-paleo version, try these with buckwheat or corn flour. Or for a more traditional gluten-ful version, use rye flour or spelt flour. Decrease the water to 1 cup if using a flour other than cassava. 

Feel free to play fast and loose with the seeds, using any combination you like. You can try adding hemp, poppy, chia, and/or pumpkin seeds. See why I love this woman???

Seasoning suggestions (add to the dough or on top of the crackers):-minced fresh rosemary-everything bagel seasoning-1 teaspoon cumin or fennel seed-oregano-garlic and/or onion powder-nigella seed-flavorful oil, such as walnut or toasted sesame-chile flakes, Aleppo pepper, or togarashi-nutritional yeast. This is where you can really customize these, which I do differently every time. I often add lemon zest to the dough but my latest batch has Oaktown Spice Vadovan (fancy curry powder) in the mix. The endless array of seasonings from Trader Joe’s make great toppers.