Nothing says party time like a bottle of champagne, a saber and yodeling marmots.

Everyone has one somewhere along the way— that aunt, uncle, godparent or family friend who inspires all the fun and naughty stuff we get to do as kids. The one who lets you drive when you’re 12, lets you stay up late watching inappropriate movies, brings you fireworks, etc. For my kids that’s their Auntie Anne. Not to be confused with the woman who sells pretzels in the airport, this Auntie Anne brings cutting edge entertainment, quite literally.

For the past few years she has always shown up with a bottle of champagne. The first time she did this I thought it was sweet that she was marking a casual family reunion as a special champagne-worthy occasion. I soon realized she had ulterior motives. As steward of my children’s vocational training she was going to be sure they knew how to saber a champagne bottle. Not surprisingly, she found two eager students, and we had the first of many fine celebrations.

Because you need to get out and practice this well before New Year’s Eve, I’m jumping right and giving you the instructions (as well as a most informative video link), knowing full well that Auntie Anne will chime in, correct what’s wrong and contribute more tips from her vast experience.

Watch this Champagne sabering video first and then:

1. Grab your saber if you are a pirate, or a solid butcher’s knife if not. (I am not mentioning a sabering pimp ring, because if you have one of those, clearly you will not be reading this tutorial.) Have some glasses at the ready, and a few towels if you are indoors.

2. Grab your bubbly. The experts claim you must super-chill the bottle of champagne (38-40°F, tops) to “calm” the bubbly and perhaps make the neck more brittle. No doubt the experts are right, but just pop it in the freezer for a bit and you’re good to go.  Remove the foil wrapper and little wire cage.

3. Grasp the bottle with authority, by the base (purists you go ahead and put your thumb in the punt, the dent in the bottom of the bottle). Point it away from any onlookers (this is key). Hold it at a 30 to 45-degree angle, as if you are holding a Roman candle (that your aunt also brought).

4. Locate one of the two vertical seams running up the side of the bottle to the lip (or, annulus if you must know). The bottle will break the most cleanly there, so that’s where you want to aim your saber stroke.

5. Making sure you have an audience, hold the knife flat against the bottle, blunt edge toward the top and sharp edge facing you. Run your saber or knife slowly back along the seam toward your body. (Take a few practice strokes to assure your motion keeps the blade flat against the bottle). Then, exuding rakish confidence, quickly and firmly thrust it back up the seam toward the bottle’s tip, striking the lip with no mercy while making sure the leading edge of the saber stays down and in toward the crook of the lip. As with every athletic/heroic maneuver, follow through is key.

6. Enjoy…both the adulation and the champagne. If you’ve succeeded, the cork (avec annulus) will fly off the end of the bottle. Any rogue shards will be long gone as well, unless you do this indoors, in which case you’ll want to break out the Swiffer.

Note that French bottles can be especially tough, and may take a try or two. So, as ever, be patient with the French and you will be amply rewarded.

Major note: Clearly there are all kinds of hazards involved with this pursuit, with reported consequences ranging from minor cuts to a shattered $3,000 bottle of cognac across the room. My best advice is to try this first outdoors, AWAY FROM PETS AND SMALL  CHILDREN. (Ahem all you aunties). Disclaimers aside, it’s darned fun and yes, Anne, you are our hero!